Qualified Solicitor…

I cannot believe that I am a solicitor and still brings tears to my eyes because I did it all alone with only help of God. Literally I cannot be more grateful, Alhamdulillah. Everyday I would talk to God, apologise to God, thank God, beg God for guidance, make me the best version. In no way am I portraying myself to be religious at all but it really helped. I recall emailing my undergraduate tutor tutor several times because he refused to give me a reference and now I am qualified with more than a dozen of Google Reviews recommending me for my services! Most importantly as much as I initially disliked my new routine and adjusting into my new role my clients simultaneously healed me. As I constantly speak with traumatised males and females it was them who taught me what healthy and unhealthy bond is, specifically what red flags to look out for in a relationship, how family plays a huge role in determining your attachment style and how it in turn reflects ones love language, how modern technology can hinder a fruitful relationship. Most importantly, my clients taught me that love doesn't need to be impressed. Love just is. Just to be you. All you need to do is exist. You don't need to prove anything, you are just you. I believe that everything also happens at the right timing.

Although now qualified, chasing money and career is like a cat chasing its own tail. A trap setup by the establishment to keep you physically bound and mentally impaired, until you realise you are on the hamster wheel, and time to jump off. When you are free from survival stress, you begin to live, create, and connect, of course there’s duality in any system, but the deeper truth is this: when we support life, life gives back. Through art, through care, through culture and community.  I am glad that I can work from home and change my hours for this very reason. Your worth isn't something you need to prove to anybody. It's not dependent on your productivity, your appearance, your relationships or your achievements. You are inherently valuable simply because you exist. Albeit, I will still tell strangers that I work at Superdrug for my own enjoyment.

Steps after receiving results:

  1. Complete DBS Check on the SRA Website

  2. Complete background check on the SRA Website

  3. Complete your training contract diary ensuring that there are no gaps

  4. Ensure that you have a copy of your LPC certificate, if not call the SRA and ask if they have it on file. I lost mine and received a replacement within 8 weeks.

  5. Ensure that you have received a copy of your DBS certificate in the post.

  6. Send your DBS certificate, training contract diary and certificate of your PSE results to your training provider/supervisor.

All in all the above process is not a lengthy one and can be completed within 2 months, I would advise to start the above a day before you sit your PSE module.

Believing in yourself and where you’re going…

Success does not necessarily build confidence. There are plenty of people that are successful at stuff and not confident about it. This is what imposter syndrome is. Consequently there are people that aren't good what they do at all and are very confident about it. It was only through persistence, blind luck, and the support of God that I was able to piece together something like a life. As someone who has had to jump through many hurdles whilst making this decision such as use my savings in desperate times and being ignored by pretty much everyone in times of need. I knew that my higher self was being tested, after all I want to ensure that my future self was financially stable, with someone who does not have many friends, loves a dry phone and marches to the beat of her own drum, I believed in myself when no one did. Practically this makes life much more easier for me as London salary is much better and thus can built my NQ status each year, even when working part time!

I had no idea about the area and lived with a stranger and her family for the first couple of months which was hell because she had severe OCD and had to really adjust my living situation which included me sitting with her mother after I had my dinner which was weird and awkward. No friends to keep me company as they were busy with their lives, my family thought I had done the most awful thing so they were not supportive and lacked understanding being immigrant parents from different generation. For this reason I drove home, a four hour journey, every weekend just because  living with a random family made me miss home even more. 

Mentally, I was stressed going to court and was getting told off by judge because of lack the training so I worked voluntarily every Saturday from 9-5pm. I still thought whether I made the right decision but the thought of going back to square one was temporary and so I stuck with it. My clients were all subject to major mental health issues which impacted me. Those around me were having more babies or getting married and there was me working. I had this inner belief that this would only be temporary. Going to the gym and having a set routine was what I really looked forward to and silly things like eating chocolate became a highlight of my day. I joined the local mosque and was introduced to some lovely sisters who joined me into a WhatsApp group, but then chucked me out because of my non activity. This was a real bummer and much prefer self learning. 

So how did I believe in myself? it’s easier to say “just focus” because everyone’s stamina is built differently, you have to go through life experiences with the mindset that things may not go according to plan.  I genuinely chose a career that i found rewarding and fulfilling. I did not need to rely on external validation eg. relying on friends to make me feel content, relying on others opinions to make me feel more confident because I genuinely enjoy my own company. When you rely on internal validation, you know that you are the final authority in your life.  You don't just know it, you trust it and that’s what I did, I also let people judge me. Could I have easily spoken to lots of different males to make me feel less lonely? Absolutely, but that is too easy I knew that energetically that would be blocking my blessings, infact I would be putting myself in a worse position. So I made small daily goals instead and quietened the noise that distracted me. I managed to get myself to be content and celebrate rest days and simple joys by exercising, going to the library, I made a few friends at the gym, joined an archery club spoke to colleagues in different branches.  Every time I ate I would film it and upload it on Instagram, selling random things to donate to charity was kept me occupied. Most of my time I was working so I had no time to really do much because I was so exhausted but I wasn’t prepared to give up, I thoroughly enjoyed representing clients at court even if I was getting it wrong whilst I had my trainee blanket. Afterall, I am born to fight for justice!

Whatever it is you are going through, whatever difficulty you are facing right now, know this, what you are going through, you are going through. It is only a season in life that will eventually pass. Keep moving forward one foot in front of the other with your eyes forward and your head held high, you are going to make it!

Alhumdulilah…

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