Discipline.

Finding the sweet spot

In other contexts, though, what is portrayed as “discipline” can be harmful and shaming dogma.

Sometimes “discipline” is a mask for control. Orthodoxy can create an environment that fosters abusive behavior, especially when coupled with unchecked authority, a lack of transparency, and a reluctance to address concerns. It can be true of cultural norms and standards, political parties, and subcultures. Such environments are all vulnerable to the slippage of discipline into dogma. Their zealotry builds walls between ingroups and outgroups, limits individual growth, and inhibits understanding and empathy. It can also create great suffering in the people exposed to its inflexibility.

If you have grown up in a repressive orthodox environment you may turn away from any kind of strict practice, even one that might be beneficial or enjoyable, as it triggers memories of misaligned power and control. Or you may double down on control, and become a zealot yourself like in the film “Black Swan” where Nina Sayers's mother, Erica, is a controlling and overbearing figure living vicariously through Nina’s dancing career wherby ultimately Nina ends up hating her dancing. Can we find the sweet spot in this mix?

When one is unable to conform to these expectations they may experience feelings of inadequacy, self-blame, or guilt. Shame responses can also manifest in the fear of being excluded or rejected by the community. Some individuals may feel as though if they fail to adhere to the prescribed rules they are not among the “chosen” ones. Ironically, this fear of rejection can lead to a heightened need to control others: a defense mechanism to circumvent the shame they associate with their own shortcomings. They may become even more rigid in their practices and beliefs, attempting to maintain a sense of worthiness by adhering obsessively to the established norms.

We know from psychosocial research that excessive control can be a defense mechanism against inner chaos or abusive environments and can also be a way of numbing—a defense against feeling inner chaos. And they can also be a defense against abusive environments. For example, in “Red Sparrow”, when Dominika enters Sparrow School, she is trapped in a world she desperately wants to escape. Dr. Gabor Maté quotes t”hat there should be a shift away from punitive disciplinary methods towards a more nurturing and understanding approach”. We must learn to differentiate between the urge to control and an invitation to facilitate awareness. Some rituals in orthodoxy are beautiful communions, and can lead to ecstatic states and deep connection to God, groups and communities.

Well-being…

Loving oneself is undeniably a cornerstone of effective self-discipline. When we operate from a place of self-compassion, the tasks we undertake are imbued with purpose and a genuine desire for self-improvement. This love acts as a motivator, making the pursuit of our goals feel more like a nurturing journey rather than a burdensome obligation. Will being disciplined get you misundestood? Most likely yes, but it's a reminder that the foundation of discipline is not just about strict routines but also about a profound respect and care for our own well-being. This balance is crucial for sustainable personal growth because when such practices stand in the way of love, kindness, and natural states of being—or they fail to respect individual gifts and needs within a community of equals—these practices become tools for alienation, not unification. Practices and rules are not needed to derive worth, or to commune with God. God is omnibenevolent. We don't have to be ritually perfect to be accepted. Be imperfectly perfect.

Some Poetry…

At first, it’s discipline. You wake up before the sun, eyes heavy, heart not always present… but you still rise.

Because prayer is better than sleep.

And slowly, what once felt like duty starts to feel like love.

You begin to crave the stillness of sujood,

the silence before Fajr,

when the world is asleep and it’s just you and Allah.

There’s a kind of serenity in those moments—

soft, sacred, untouchable.

The air feels different, your soul feels held.

No eyes watching, no one judging—just you, whispering to the One who always listens.

Some days are hard.

Some days you’re late, some days you’re lost.

But you keep returning… and that’s the journey.

One day, it clicks.

And suddenly, prayer isn’t on your to-do list.

It becomes the moment you wait for,

the peace you run to,

the love you can’t live without.

This relationship is yours alone.

Unfiltered.

Uninterrupted.

Undeniably sacred.

Just Him, the Beloved, and you.

Always. 🤍

Life is a test and it is through discipline that we obtain all ability to enjoy ourselves and become truly liberated. When we are immersed in luxury and comfortable circumstances it is all too easy to become enslaved through pleasure if a person lacks internal purity.

Self-discipline is the ability to get yourself to take action regardless of your emotional state. It involves acting according to what you think instead of how you feel in the moment. It is self-discipline that drives you to:

Go to the gym when all you want to do is lie on the sofa/bed and surf the internet…
Wake up early to pray or to go for a run…
Say “no” when tempted to break your diet…
Only checking your phone a few times a day to enjoy the present…

It involves sacrificing the pleasure and thrill of the “now” for the benefit or pleasure of the “later”. In "Spirited Away" discipline and it’s consequences are explored through Chihiro's experiences in the spirit world. She learns that hard work and responsibility are essential for survival and overcoming adversity, particularly within Yubaba's demanding bathhouse. The film also highlights the importance of resisting temptation and maintaining one's identity in the face of pressure. “The Last Samurai” reflected some of the Samurai principles which included indestructable self-discipline. They practiced their craft every single day. They were always learning, always growing, always improving, coming out of their comfort zone.

In Islam, all prophets were considered to have lived disciplined lives, demonstrating obedience to Allah (swt) with a disciplined daily routine that balanced worship, family life, community engagement and self-reflection. For example in the Qu’ran there are a few verses which teach self-discipline:

In Surah Munafiquan Ayat 9 (63:9) the verse reads “O believers! Do not let your wealth or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allah. For whoever does so, it is they who are the ˹true˺ losers.” Here the verse is advising believers not to let their worldy possessions and family distract them from the rememberance of Allah, emphasising ones faith and prioritising one’s faith over materialistic pursuits.
In Surah Ali ‘Imran Ayat 200 (3:200) it reads “O believers! Patiently endure, persevere, stand on guard,1 and be mindful of Allah, so you may be successful.” encouraging believers to persevere in the face of challenges which can only come with discipline. Perseverance and endurance are essential components of self-discipline as we must overcome difficulties with patience and determination while maintaining God-conciousness.
In Surah An-Nisaa Ayat 103 (4:103) it reads “Worship at fixed hours hath been enjoined on the believers” emphasising the importance of praying regularly at specific times highlighting the importance of self management in adhering to the structured acts of workship established by Allah (swt).
Overall self-discipline in Islamic teachings is a holistic concept of compassing spiritual, moral and practical dimensions. It involves constant effort, self awareness and a commitment to living an Islamic life.

Freedom

Discipline also equals freedom, want the freedom to have your favourite food this weekend? Then have the discipline to workout and stay active during the week. Want clear skin? Get a full 8 hour sleep. Self Discipline is total FREEDOM. Counterintuitive to most perspectives. It is a foundation of integrity. So solid that you have no concerns to even have to fight off... Why it's so peaceful.?.. It is the way to have it all... The work and the play. Start by waking up earlier than usual. If we want to be effective in life, we must do the same despite the set backs. No one becomes great without putting in the repetitions. People who are undisciplined are numb. We use numbness to protect ourselves from negative emotions/thoughts. But then, you have no capacity to cultivate positive emotions either.

Why you should wake up earlier than sunrise:

Physically, other peoples energies are not affecting you, because most people are not awake, their egos are not awake. So you feel more energised and lighter, most likely happier, calmer. Your subconscious dirt is not as prevalent.
Scientifically, your brain has different speed waves, so when the brain waves are the slowest like delta or alpha you have more access to your subconscious, setting the tone for the day.
Spiritually, meditating or praying turns on the light and helps to chase away our fears, anxieties, worries and doubts when one prays during the sky transitioning from darkness to light…quite literally so.

Do not burn yourself out just take it in steps. Your brain can only go on autopilot when its familiar with what to do and when it feels safe to do it. The Anterior Mid-Cingulate Cortex (AMCC) is the part of your brain that powers tenacity, willpower and even your will to live. The harder tasks you face and conquer, the stronger this part of your brain becomes. So, do things you don’t like, daily. Your AMCC thrives on challenges you hate but complete anyway. That is why any skill or task you perform repeatedly eventually stops requiring all that much conscious effort.

Seeing self-discipline in terms of pure willpower fails because beating ourselves up for not trying hard enough doesn’t work. In fact, it backfires. And, it usually only makes it worse. Forcing myself to do things I don't want to do (particular when it comes to physical suffering) ends up giving me more self confidence than anything else.